Topic D: Informing about and discussing sexual relations
The purpose of these dialogues is to help teenagers understand a healthy management of sexual relations:
- What kind of relation do you want to have with someone of the opposite sex as you grow up? Do you want to be married or to be single? Why, or why not?
- Do you want to have children yourselves when you grow up? Why, or why not?
- (If teenagers have access to internet or mobile phone): What did you learn from the internet about sexual relations? Many teenagers have internet, and may have studied pornographic sites or dating sites.
This question gives you an occasion to discuss with them what is normal sexuality as part of an emotional relation, and what is exploitation of women, abnormal, etc. It is also an occasion to inform them that most people may have sexual fantasies and that this does not mean being abnormal, and that there is a huge difference about fantasies and what you actually do in a love relation. Most teenagers are afraid of being abnormal, physically as well as mentally because of the rapid changes in their bodies and minds. You can reassure them by describing this as being normal.
- What do you think about having children when you look back at the life of your parents?
This question can give you the opportunity to discuss what it takes to have a healthy relationship and succeed in bringing up children:
That their parents may have been too young when their mother became pregnant, that not knowing about prevention may have caused them to have children before they became educated, or that abuse may have destroyed the ability of their parents to care for them.
- What can you do to become a parent who does not repeat the problems of your own parents? How old will you be when you will have children? What do you need to do in your own life to make you strong enough to raise a child? What kind of partner will you need to support you?
This can give you the opportunity to make each teenager work on a future plan called “my dreams for life and how to get there”. Help the teenagers make a realistic plan and discuss the plan with them.
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